Excerpt
Demystifying Masturbation
Masturbation is one of the wrong sexual expressions. It is an agelong issue that has been with man and in this generation, has become prevalent.
Before anyone will inherit the Kingdom of God such must have dealt with and conquered all forms of uncleanliness including wrong sexual expressions and motions. (1 Cor. 6:9)
Man’s sexual personality is a very vital part of him, which will require the judgement of Christ to deal with. Cultures and religions have not been able to proffer any accurate way to deal with man’s sexual issues.
Religion can only see the external, hence all it knows as sexual sins are fornication and adultery. But Jesus wants to free us from every form of sexual sin because as long as we cannot manage them, we are impure.
Masturbation is usually a solo act; if the person involved does not speak up, no one will know. Unlike fornication, where one person can confess it, if the other party does not talk. Masturbation is an act between a person and himself and after every act, such would always feel wrong and guilty.
The Western culture has approved masturbation, even for children in primary school. However, no matter what the world says, what is wrong cannot be right.
Though there is no mention of masturbation in the Bible, it is a product of impure thoughts and it is categorized under uncleanliness. (Eph. 5:3-5)
Some people have been given the gift of staying without a wife and they are not under the pressure to touch women (arouse erotically). And for anyone who does not have this gift, Paul commanded to marry to avoid fornication. (1 Cor. 7:1,7)
To touch a woman is not necessarily to sleep with her, but to arouse erotic emotions for the purpose of satisfying pleasure.
Masturbation is a way of satisfying erotic pleasure because one cannot contain his/her erotic motions. This act is proof that such a person does not have the grace to be a eunuch. Hence, as Apostle Paul advised, such should go and marry.
Anyone who is not burning or under sexual fire cannot masturbate and the recommendation is to marry if one burns. Society however has brought up other criteria for marriage, such as being financially buoyant; these have made it difficult for godliness to be practiced even in church.
The reason there is a high number of people masturbating nowadays is because many of them cannot contain their erotic motions and they should have been married.
The sexual fire in man was put there by God in varying degrees and it is not a sin to burn with desire. But, no matter how much one burns, it must never be expressed outside marriage. (1 Cor. 7:9)
God does not want us to gratify the flame of sexual fire in us unguarded. To manage this flame before marriage, we must be guarded. This is why God cannot approve masturbation, because it is an unguarded way of gratifying sexual fire.
From the view of bible, masturbation is not correct, because one is expected to consistently burn until one marries. It is not wrong to burn, but it wrong to ease out burning through masturbation. Hence, one must learn how to contain one's burning until marriage.
Sexual fire in man is not the creation of man or the devil but of God. Masturbation, however, is any way or means by which one physically stimulates one's sex organs to ease out the burning of sexual fire that cannot be contained, which may not necessarily lead to orgasm.
It is wrong to mock people because of the degree of sexual fire they carry, as this is something natural and not their own doing. That a person has a high degree of sexual fire that such may find means of easing out does not make him/her the most sinful.
Sexual fire is one's sexual urge or libido. Because of past experiences, many don’t believe that sexual fire can be controlled and then they take postures (either in their mind or through discipline) to make it seem as though their sexual urge does not exist. The truth, howbeit, is that God cannot give to us a fire that cannot be controlled or what will destroy us.
We must be confident to touch our sex organs without any sense of fear of abuse or thought of sexually gratifying oneself. God gave us our sex organs, but they have become alien even to our body because of sin.
God wants us to be sexually healthy. That one is not masturbating does not mean one is free because there are different levels of sexual health. Even that one is married does not mean such is sexually healthy, as many married people are still with the fear of masturbation.
The victory which Jesus has come to give is full of liberty, that which is fulfilling, and meets the purpose for which God has set things in creation. Many people, in a ploy not to fornicate, has destroyed many things about themselves.
Self-control is one of the fruit of Christ and it is ‘self’ agreeing to the control of the Spirit. (Gal. 5:22-23)
If the result of those who indulge their sexual fire is an inability to inherit the Kingdom of Christ, then the answer to deal with or control sexual fire must have been given, no matter how long one may have been under the rule of one's sexual fire.
We must learn to assert the realities of the spirit to our heart, because the devil can deceive us by his lies that we cannot be be free. The truth in Christ, however, is that sexual fire is controllable.
Sometimes, the answer to dealing with one's sexual urge can come by the Spirit while other times, it may not be so. The answer can come to stop the habit of masturbation with an immediate effect, while it may come over time by a process of administration in the program of Christ - it is no less victory that it takes a process of time to stop masturbation.
Victory over masturbation is best gotten when one is still single, because one may still need to use the experience in marriage, like when a spouse is unavoidably not available to meet the demands of sex.
Marriage is not the best way to control masturbation. Rather, Christ-control is the best way to deal with it.
Masturbation is wrong and may not go in a day, but those who are caught in it are not the worst of men, as long as they don’t agree that it is a part of them.
Some people may be worried that masturbation is lingering with them, and seeming not to go; they should know that the pathway which has been created in them is not the same as others, and so the mode of its treatment may not be the same.
Anyone who will be free from masturbation must come under the treatment system prescribed for such, else it will be impossible to handle the dominion of Christ. Whosoever is not able to allow this prescibed treatment has left a vital part of his/her life where God expects victory to be expressed.
Normally, one will feel guilty, dirty and spiritually drained when one masturbates. This proves that it is wrong and one must come under the program that can bring help out of it.
Flesh forces us to submit our will. Even when the sexual fire in us is stirred up, it does not have the capacity of expression unless we allow it by our will. Over time, submitting our will to gratifying sexual fire causes our sexual urges to pose as though our will cannot be in charge, to stop these urges from expressing themselves.
If the will does not permit the expression of sexual urges, nothing happens. This is why, our sexual urges uses lust to enslave our will, so that it will always find a way of expression. Lust is the sense to help our sexual urges satisfy its desires.
Lust is like a thirsty soil looking for water. It is the desire in us that wants us to have things done our will. It is lust that convinces our will that it has no say, so that we can submit our will. Everytime a person masturbates, such submitted his/her will.
If someone continues to submit his/her will to lust, overtime, such would seem not to have a will anymore. Everyone was given a will, because even God will not do anything in our lives without our will.
Sexual urges are all the feelings one has that is also accompanied by the desire to sexually gratify one's sexual impulses. When one's will has become weak or timid through abuse by lust over time, it will be difficult to believe that one's will is superior to one's sexual urges.
Every man has a measure of lust in them and it is exhibited in different areas of our life - such as the food we like or the friends we keep.
Sexual urge can be a product of biological processes that do not require any external inducer and it is resident in the body. Though, it could be prominent at certain times or seasons, it is part of the detail God put in man’s creation.
Having sexual urges does not define one as a sinner, instead it means one is sexually healthy. They can be caused by hormones in the body and their effect can be either light or strong.
Sexual urges can be dependent on one's personality. It can also be dependent on one's sex organ structure and sensitivity as this varies from person to person.
Sexual urges can be induced externally, with the aid of sexual idols. Our ignorance in these things is what has made masturbation a problem that seem to be diffcult to deal with. Knowing our body chemistry and responses is also essential in dealing with sexual urges.
A man feels more sexual urge in the morning while a woman feels it more at night. Having this understanding can also help us know that giving in to these urges at such times is not an option.
It is natural that one feels sexual urges at certain times (such as mornings for men and night for women) which could lead to masturbation. However, once the habit of masturbation is formed, sexual urges will no longer depend on the natural times to come but will come at every opportunity.
We must learn to go against the feeling of the flesh to stay in bed when we feel sexual urges. Adults around ought to help the younger one's to leave bed early in the morning to manage that desire.
Although we have our chemistry, every person has their sex goddess (idols), things about a person that arouses them like the baritone voice of a man or the masculine figure. The urge to melt when we are exposed to this must be conquered.
We are prone to sexual sin after a spiritual experience because we are opened both spiritually and physically. So, we all need oversight to guide us as when we try to run from our sexual goddesses, it tends to trap us more.
Running from our sexual goddesses is not the key to overcoming them, it takes discernment - we understanding their presence.
Pornography is designed for sexual arousal away from the normal arousal a person feels and to intensify it. It is a closely managed industry.
When a person is engaged with pornography, it makes it more difficult for our will to control our arousal. It is like adding fuel to fire which is why we cannot get out of masturbation if we are on porn.
The first issue of masturbation is under our control and awareness and this can be controlled. We must not run, rather we must master our desire through the help of doctrine.
We must locate what puts pressure on our sexual urge and disengage. We can and must disengage from the porn world because it was created mainly for the purpose of aiding our sexual desire.
The porn world is an enticer for the ignorant; some people don't go there for stimulation but for curiosity sake, but it traps them and keeps them there. It is an industry meant to catch the soul.
If we are going to be free from masturbation, we must first be free from pornography because porn was designed for masturbation. Pornography can become a habit, and it is in no way educational. We must discern it and tell ourselves that we can do without it.
We must know that we are spirit-man though we sexually strong beings, our spirit energy is greater and it is where our strength lies. Our spirit restores back strength and authority to our will which lust once conquered.
Though we were born again, we may find that we can still masturbate. This is because full authority has not yet been restored back to the soul and the first authority it must know is Christ.
At the level of Pentecost, flesh has a way of playing around the Holy Ghost as one can be filled with the Holy Ghost in a moment and the next moment the flesh is in control, because the Holy Ghost is not an authority resident in the soul.
When we learn Christ's law, it is resident in us and it teaches our spirit man obedience because no one can practice Christ's law without obedience.
Masturbation is product of a man who is a servant to his sexual pleasure. Obedience to Christ is what restores a man spirit back to service makes him a servant of righteousness.
Our will gradually gets stronger when we continue in the learning of Christ's doctrine. There is no other way to build confidence back into our will outside Christ's doctrine. (Rom. 6:18)
Christ is the one who administers to us what is not palatable for the flesh, not only on sexual matters but also on other aspects of our lives. (Rom. 6:19)
When the will is restored back, it will be easier to reject the suggestions of lust to gratify sexual urges. But once we don't follow through with Christ doctrine to the end, Sin and lust will bring us under its dominion again. Sin has a way of creating alternative paths to achieving the desires of lust.
The will which Christ restores is not our natural will but His own will which He imposes on us because we are obeying Christ. Christ's will is stronger than sin (masturbation). (Luk. 22:42)
Masturbation can pose to be powerful and bossy but, when one acquires Christ will, it loses its strength. Obedience to the gospel is what weakens the desire to gratify the flesh until it dies out.
It is possible to be in church for years and be hearing messages and yet not grow in obedience. As long as one is not obeying the dictates of doctrine, instructions of the leadership, the law of affectionate love among the brethren and still keeping one's sex idols, such is not obeying Christ.
A person obeying Christ will not be choosy in making friends with people based on one's chemistry with them. It is natural to want to relate more with people with whom one has chemistry; Christ law however leads one against this natural tendency.
Anytime we obey Christ in going against our natural likes, tastes and tendencies, especially in the place of friendship, we are strengthening our will against lust.
We must discern thoughts in the faculty of learning as being different from that of the faculty of emotions. In everyone is a faculty that has the ability to learn without involving our emotions.
One way to contain sexual urges is to approach sexual matters from the faculty of learning. It is sin that has enslaved man, such that, what we should see from a point view of learning stirs up erotic motions in us instead.
Sexual information is not meant to feed the erotic part of man; but this is the case, when we have an underdeveloped faculty of learning.
Sex therapists teach sex and don't get involved in it because they use their faculty of learning. The whole of man's body and personality is sex, but sin taught man not to learn about himself, thus enslaving man by ignorance.
Our faculty of learning is that which appreciates and admires beauty in things; it does not stir erotic motions. Anyone who doesn't develop his/her faculty of learning cannot help the opposite gender to be better.
Salvation is about bringing out the best of our person in our spirit, soul and body.
Anytime one is developing his/her faculty of learning, it is possible that erotic motions may want to surface. But it is one's responsibility not to allow this.
What God sees when God looks at us is beauty. God cannot be erotically moved because of how He sees and there are many things about us that He sees which we don't know anything about because He is the Creator - the Everlasting God.
To possess one's vessel is to make it function the way it is meant to and this takes time and training. (1 Thes. 4:4)
The sexual urge that comes from the opposite sex with whom we have chemistry is usually stronger than the one resident in us. But if we can relate with such persons without the influence of the urge we feel with them, it will be easier to put the urge resident in us under control.
Masturbation is not a terror and it is a thing that should be completely under one's will. In marriage, it is not wrong to touch oneself, as long as it is under the influence of the relationship.
What defines masturbation is not just the act of touching oneself for sexual pleasure, but what influences it or under which law is it being done.
Everything we receive as men comes to us first as thoughts. Both the appreciation of beauty and the feelings of erotic emotions are products of thoughts. As we grow in the spirit, we must know that our battle is with thoughts and we must learn how to hold thoughts. (2 Cor. 10:3-5)
Sexual thoughts can constitute a stronghold in us. There are other aspects of our being that when we develop them can also become strongholds potent enough to fight off sexual thoughts.
When a man sees a female and what comes to him are erotic thoughts, such imaginations should be arrested. Jesus did not mean we should amputate or blind ourselves to avoid hell, but rather the thoughts that are behind the motions we have towards sin is what we should deal with. (Matt. 18:8-9)
Emotions must not play around us without our discerning the thoughts behind them. We are not animals that cannot reason; no atmosphere must be around us that shuts down our reasoning! It is foolish to enjoy such a state.
We must grow up to begin to locate thoughts. Erotic emotions have their thoughts just as the faculty of learning has its thoughts. The way the things we see speak to us must be controlled so that we are not led into lustful desires.
God's counsel is not about dealing with one sin but about the raising of a total man. Even if one stops masturbation and still such a man is not raised, then the job of redemption is not yet accomplished.